Happy Easter

I was blessed when I went to church tonight. I could really feel God in that place, and I pretty much bawled like a baby the entire time. My spirit needed a wake-up call, and it happened tonight. So I share with you some of the lyrics that feel the most poignant to me on this Easter Eve, and I pray that you and all of your families stay safe this weekend and have a wonderful holiday:

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

Bummed.

Dang.

I love snow, y'all. Seriously. And we have 4 inches, and counting. I guess it just sort of hit me that I might not be able to go to church tomorrow, which really bums me out. I went for the first time last Saturday, and I loved it, so I signed up for a bible study class on Saturday, and intended to go back to service Saturday night after the class... I just checked their website, and they have already canceled all classes for tomorrow morning. SO FAR they are still planning to hold services tomorrow night, so here's to hoping that I actually get to go! :(

Love to all!
Michelle

You'll never believe it...

...but we actually made it to church tonight! YAY! We went to Northside, and we were even able to see some of our friends there, which made the experience that much more pleasant. The girls had a blast and didn't want to leave when it was time to go (always a good sign). We came home, had taco night (Gracie LOVES taco night), and played the board game Trouble (Daddy got put in time out 'cause he kept cheating). All in all, not a shabby evening, by any means!

Now, if I could just shake the migraine that's kicking my butt, I'd be great!

Love to all!

Downer post.

I am, quite frankly, tired of being fat.

There are no two ways about this. I am not just overweight, I am fat. The simple fact is that I gained a lot of weight with my 5 pregnancies (I know y'all are saying WHAT? 5? But you only have 3 kids! - two didn't make it, and please don't tell me you're sorry, it was a long time ago and I'm coping with it). I started doing Weight Watchers a month before I got pregnant with Josie, and I'd lost close to 10 lbs in 4 weeks, which was a step in the right direction - losing it slowly, the healthy way; through diet and exercise. I think I'm going to try and start that back up again. I'm tired of being this big and getting depressed every time I look at clothes in my size. I don't want my kids to be ashamed of their mother around their friends, just because of the way I look. I don't want to be putting my own life at risk because of my weight. I am so unhealthy it's pathetic.

What brought on this realization, you ask? I think about it a lot, but the straw that broke the camel's proverbial back came today. I saw an old friend (Julie C.) out and about in the mall, and I haven't seen her since 1995. She looks terrific - the same as she did in school, but prettier - and I hesitated and didn't say anything to her because I was ashamed of how I looked. The hardest part of all this is going to be getting the exercise in, since I have a 2 year old attached to my hip all day, every day. Before I had her, Jason would watch the older 2 girls and I would speed walk 3 miles at Community Park (we lived within walking distance). He also did not work then, so I had plenty of time to come home from work, give him the kids, and de-stress with my walking and my mp3 player. Now he works and I have no car. =( what to do, short of buying a yoga dvd and attempting it at home?

In other news, we've decided to try a new church - one that has a Saturday service. Tomorrow we're going to try out Northside, and hopefully we'll be happy with it and start going regularly.

As for me, I feel down in the dumps now, even though I had a fan-friggin'-tastic day before I saw my old friend. Now it's time for me to retreat to the den of self-loathing (otherwise known as my bedroom) and re-watch Perfect Strangers in a feeble attempt to cheer myself up. When that doesn't work, I'll pop in my favorite movie of all time (Breakfast at Tiffany's) and snuggle up in my flannel pj's under my down comforter and try to drift into oblivion.

...wow, that came off way more self-pitying than I wanted it to, didn't it? Those are the breaks, kid...